


timewasters

by hallwinter



Category: Vast Error
Genre: Character Study, Chatlog, Gen, Mentions of alcoholism, idk man!, slice of life? i guess, this was just for fun there isnt like context or anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-08 02:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16420424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallwinter/pseuds/hallwinter
Summary: WA: Aw man- now the torch has been passed onto me-UK: >([embrace it brot#a]UK: >([feel da funky flow]UK: >([of da ocean blue]WA: The ocean isn’t blue-WA: And I’d prefer not to feel the uh- funky flow-WA: It’s a little terrifying-





	timewasters

**Author's Note:**

> (laminated paper noises)

\---- windlessArtificer [WA] began trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK] at 10:29 PM. 

WA: Hey-   
UK: >([ay man w#ats barkin up ur tree on dis fine evenin]   
WA: Uh-  
WA: That's actually- what I came to ask you about-  
WA: What's barking up YOUR tree-   
UK: >([nuttin muc# i jus be out #ere c#illin fine as all #ell u kno #ow it be]  
UK: >([real quiet #ours on da tl t#o p wack if u ask me]  
UK: >([and u r askin me so dats my answer lmao]   
WA: I guess I understand-  
WA: Uh- I'm doing fine- I think-  
WA: I did want to talk to you- about something though-   
UK: >([w#ats t#a #aps bro]   
WA: Do you-  
WA: Remember anything from last night-  
WA: At my hive-   
UK: >([t#ink so ya]  
UK: >([i mean course i remember t#at s#it went off da fuckin #andle lol]  
UK: >([we been off t#a s#its #ittin t#a fan n all dat]  
UK: >([prolly zoinked tf out from all t#ose drinks w#en everyone bounced n got a good sleep in]  
UK: >([i aint even #ungover dats how gr8 it was]   
WA: Not exactly my point-  
WA: I just wanted to confirm my suspicions- about something that happened-  
WA: Between us-   
UK: >([wdym bone boy]   
WA: After everyone left-  
WA: It was just us for a few hours-  
WA: You were really drunk man-  
WA: I didn't really know what to do about it- so I let you stay overnight- at least until you got a ride home- or something-  
WA: Because I didn't want you to get lost-  
WA: I need to stress this again but- you were seriously wasted-  
WA: You were talking out of your ass- more than usual- which is really saying something-   
UK: >([sm# my # lai u accusin me of bein a lig#tweig#t?]  
UK: >([u on da ot#a #and get tipsy from 1 drink n 1 drink only lmao]  
UK: >([lemme jus tell u rig#t #ere rig#t now dat s#it dont fly]  
UK: >([i gots t#a guts n i do intend ta keep it dat way u catc# my drift?]   
WA: Yeah-  
WA: But no I wasn't- accusing you of that-  
WA: I would never-  
WA: I mean you had- a lot of drinks-  
WA: We all did but you- kinda ran me dry-   
WA: You started saying some weird stuff-  
WA: You started crying at one point-  
WA: Rambling about uh-  
WA: I don’t know actually- you were really incoherent at the time-  
WA: And I was too-  
WA: It sounded like it was- related to cryptozoology- I think-?  
WA: Piecing it all together- is hard- especially when we were as wasted as we were- at the time-  
WA: But I can’t say I wasn’t at least slightly concerned- about how you were holding up-   
UK: >([i dunno bout dat one c#ief]  
UK: >([dont sound like any semblance of me if im gonna be realzies wit u #ere]  
UK: >([t#ink maybe u got a bit off t#a #andle too my man]  
UK: >([started seein unreality n #allucinatin a storm]  
UK: >([i kno u done it befo its all aite i gets it]  
UK: >([it rlly do b like dat sumtimes]   
WA: Oh-  
WA: Does it really-  
WA: I didn't know- it could happen so fast- and so vivid too-  
WA: But then again-  
WA: You definitely seem like an expert- in your field-   
WA: Don't start saying song lyrics- I know how that sounds in retrospect-   
UK: >([lmao roflcopter]  
UK: >([na# man if i truly did get all t#at #ammered i t#ink id kno abt it ya feel?]  
UK: >([aint nuttin goin unc#ecked in dis viral #eadspace i possess no sir]  
UK: >([everyt#ins unda control 9 ta 5 n it all flips t#a switch afta t#at]  
UK: >([n it starts up again t#a next day rite as rain jus #ow everyone else do]  
UK: >([less a course i decide ta punc# t#a clock in t#a late #ours like i am in dis very moment]  
UK: >([if i said anyt#in weird jus t#row dat s#it out da window like we do]   
WA: Alright-  
WA: I guess-  
WA: I don't know man- I was kinda worried-  
WA: Could have been the alcohol- getting to me-  
WA: Could have not been-  
WA: Nobody can really know for sure-  
WA: We are our own alibis-   
UK: >([sure are]  
UK: >([cant rlly b trusted on t#a influence ill tell u dat]  
UK: >([alt#o im quite possy i kno w#at im abt n all]  
UK: >([seein as i kno myself betta t#an any ot#a mut#afucka out #ere]   
WA: Yeah-  
WA: I'm gonna go now-  
WA: Talk to you later-   
UK: >([see u on da flip side]

\---- windlessArtificer [WA] gave up trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK] at 10:45 PM.

\---- windlessArtificer [WA] began trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK] at 2:08 PM.

WA: Okay actually-  
WA: I think maybe something is up-   
UK: >([#u#]  
UK: >([o# is dis bout last nite]  
UK: >([like i said i t#ink ur off da #andle my man]  
UK: >([it dont feel rite 2 me]   
WA: Well-  
WA: Yeah you keep saying that but-  
WA: I don’t think I’m all that stupid Murrit-  
WA: When you spend so many hours contemplating by yourself-  
WA: You begin to question your reasoning-  
WA: Behind anything in particular really-  
WA: But specifically this time- I wasn’t sure-   
UK: >([aw man ur gonna go on anot#a tangent arentc#a]  
UK: >([ion kno w#ats messin wit ur pan 2day but #ey ill listen if it makes ya feel any betta]  
UK: >([get it]   
WA: What’s there to get-  
WA: Oh-  
WA: Fish joke-   
UK: >([ B) ]   
WA: Well yeah it would make me feel betta-  
WA: I mean better-  
WA: Aw man- now the torch has been passed onto me-   
UK: >([embrace it brot#a]  
UK: >([feel da funky flow]  
UK: >([of da ocean blue]   
WA: The ocean isn’t blue-  
WA: And I’d prefer not to feel the uh- funky flow-  
WA: It’s a little terrifying-   
UK: >([t#as w#at makes it all t#a mo cool]  
UK: >([aint everyday u get ta witness t#a terrors of t#a deep end]  
UK: >([less a course u a seadwella like me]  
UK: >([t#en t#at s#it goes #am everyw#ere u do]  
UK: >([its annoyin at worst tb# #onest]   
WA: How have you not been mortally wounded yet-   
UK: >([im jus t#at epic B)]   
WA: Wow okay-  
WA: Oh man we’re getting off track-  
WA: I almost forgot what I wanted to talk to you about-   
UK: >([dis is mo inc# restin]  
UK: >([u eva taxidermied a fis#?]   
WA: Can’t say that I have-  
WA: I would rather not attempt to either-  
WA: What with the uh- toxicity of the black depths- and all that-  
WA: There’s not really any way I’d be able to do it-  
WA: Case in point- you keep distracting me-   
UK: >([jus tryna spark sum good convo dawg]  
UK: >([t#as #ow we do is it not]  
UK: >([jus 2 guys c#illin in t#a dms]  
UK: >([5 feet apart cuz t#ey bot# bonded 2 diff quads]  
UK: >([n it aint gay anyways]   
WA: That was kind of a long winded joke-  
WA: Doesn’t really fit the structure of the song at all-   
UK: >([#a#a winded]  
UK: >([now dats a s#ort winded joke]  
UK: >([get it]  
UK: >([cuz u outta breat#]  
UK: >([dis is so meta now]   
WA: How much deeper can this bit go-   
UK: >([t#ink its at t#a end of its run now but t#at was a good one i aint gonna lie]  
UK: >([been a #ot sec since we #ad one like dat]   
WA: Yeah-  
WA: What was our last bit anyways-   
UK: >([sumn bout us bein in a sitcom]  
UK: >([cuz our jokes r so fly we deserve it]  
UK: >([dat t#read lasted a good few #ours]   
WA: That was last week though-  
WA: Have we really not had a good bit in between then and now-  
WA: I swear there has to have been something-  
WA: It only makes sense-   
UK: >([man #ow fuckd is ur sense a time anyways]  
UK: >([dat was 3 days ago]  
UK: >([real early in t#a mornin if im rig#t]  
UK: >([n i am bcuz i #ave neva been wrong eva u kno dis 2 be fact]  
UK: >([u want me 2 paste t#a backlog]   
WA: Yeah I guess-   
UK: >([k #ere goes lol]

UK: >([our pins #ave sum real gems let me tell ya]  
UK: >([real kneeslappers u kno w#at im sayin?]  
UK: >([i been lookin t#ru em lately n i gotta b real wit u c#ief t#is is t#a funniest s#it eva]  
UK: >([dis is truly t#a minecraft of sex]   
WA: Haha- yeah-  
WA: I don’t know what it is about our conversations- but they always end up going off the rails-  
WA: Somehow you always enable me to go off on another rant-  
WA: About literally anything-  
WA: Like the Great Corndog Factory Heist of 1932-  
WA: I don’t even remember the context for that- now that I think about it-  
WA: Was there even context-?  
WA: A lot of things we do in here is just nonsense-  
WA: And see look- you’ve got me going again-   
UK: >([lmao]  
UK: >([ill say ferroo we rlly s#ould #ave our own televised mastapiece]  
UK: >([one suc# dat runs 4 t#a rest a #istory n life as we know it]  
UK: >([w#ic# i now realize aint v muc# longa but]  
UK: >([gotta make t#a most of it w#ile we can n all dat]  
UK: >([wed b comedy gods lai]  
UK: >([t#ink on it]   
WA: Yeah I’m thinking on it-   
UK: >([r u rlly gettin down n dirty wit t#ose neural connectas]  
UK: >([r u feelin dem sparks lig#tin up ya mainframe in dat canine skull a yours]  
UK: >([r u reddy 2 becum da jokesmasta 4 da rest a time]   
WA: I am-  
WA: Very ready-  
WA: Never been more ready in my life in fact-   
UK: >([excellent]

UK: >([n t#en we roleplayed 4 a w#ile im sure u recall]  
UK: >([cuz T#AT was comedy fuckin platinum]  
UK: >([t#is s#its so good it skipped gold]   
WA: Uh huh-  
WA: Murrit- I have a question-  
WA: And I need you to listen-   
UK: >([w#us poppin]   
WA: The longer this conversation goes on- the more I feel like you’re trying to- uh-  
WA: How do I put this-  
WA: Avoid being sincere-   
UK: >([aint avoidin nut#in]  
UK: >([we been talkin n #avin a good time aint we]  
UK: >([the jigs dont stop #ere bro]   
WA: See that’s what I mean-  
WA: I actually came in here to have a serious discussion-  
WA: At this point I’m not really sure- why I thought it would work- because you just-  
WA: You just don’t do that-   
UK: >([well u got dat rite]  
UK: >([im #ere 4 da laffs]  
UK: >([worlds p s#itty as it is]  
UK: >([i gotta b t#a glue dat #olds dis place 2get#a cuz w#o else will]  
UK: >([not soda boy]  
UK: >([not p#ossy jaw]  
UK: >([sure as #ell aint winec#ugger cuz lets face it #e gave up tryin a long time ago]  
UK: >([aint NOBODY else up 4 dis supposedly sisyphean task my buddy]  
UK: >([but me? i gots it unda control]  
UK: >([i do believe im best qualified 4 t#a job]  
UK: >([i dont get as down in t#a gutter as t#a rest a u]  
UK: >([u feel me #omeslice? i already #anded t#is spiel 2 ya last nite n yet #ere we are once again]  
UK: >([its no prob t#o ill always #and it 2 ya best i can]  
UK: >([n if u dont gets it t#a first time round? fine by me i always got mo time up my sleeve]   
WA: Did someone tell you that this was your responsibility-  
WA: To keep all of us in check-  
WA: Because I’m not sure that’s an entirely healthy ordeal-  
WA: At least not one to handle all by yourself-   
UK: >([na# but i figured itd #elp in t#a long run]  
UK: >([u dont gotta worry bout me my dude]  
UK: >([wouldnt b doin t#is in t#a first place if i didnt kno w#ats good 4 me n all t#at]  
UK: >([im gr8 all da time u got no idea]   
WA: That freakout you had begs to differ-  
WA: Seriously-  
WA: I don’t think I’ve ever seen you more-  
WA: I don’t know-  
WA: I might be running out of words here-  
WA: Maybe it was nothing-  
WA: And I just overreacted-   
UK: >([mig#ta been dat]   
WA: I need to get more sleep-  
WA: I don’t feel too peachy-   
UK: >([sleep tite get t#em good z’s]  
UK: >([u always kno w#ere ta find me]   
WA: Okay- Bye-

\---- windlessArtificer [WA] gave up trolling unclaspedKahuna [UK] at 2:31 PM.


End file.
